csi: fashion school edition.

For those who had no idea, I'm a STEM major (not kidding). I love science like you wouldn't believe, but let's face it- I'm not down with 20 hour labs and trips to the observatory every single weekend. My professor was awesome and I happen to look great in lab coats, but that is clearly not enough to pursue a PhD in that field. I was starting to get burned out on school. I was getting depressed. I needed to make a change ASAP. I put on my jet pack, strapped on some moon boots, and took off [to the Art Building].



I had already taken fashion design years before cause I had nothing better to do, but it was not really my passion. Now that I was back to get a get a degree in Something Important, I chose the sciences. Never one to be "all work and no play", I started taking fashion classes on the side. Eventually it became my refuge. It was a place where the only String Theory I had to worry about was the property of yarn, the only Cosmos on my mind were the drinks after class, and the only time I needed to think about "the Future of Space" was when I discussed my fashion icon Judy Jetson.



While most of the assholes in my classes want to be Duhziners, I'm interested in the nerdier route-- Costume Historian. I had no idea this job even existed but I fell in love right away. It is the perfect balance of Party and Business. It has the word "Costume" [fun] and "Historian" [serious] in it, so it's like a mullet, but socially acceptable. I marched down to admissions and contemplated making the switch completely. I'm not gonna tell yall what school I go to cause I don't need any Fatal Attractions waiting for me behind dress forms. What I will tell you though, is that this is the best school to have chosen for the second round of my College Career. The bad part is, there is tons of clueless riffraff in my classes.



While I'm not there to be a Judge Judy, sometimes it really pisses me off when I get stuck with the bottom of the barrel in a group project. There is a grown ass girl in my class with a fucking plastic KAZAAM backpack. Why?! I hate when people try to be "ironic", it is so unnecessary and just makes them look like douchebags. I'm over here trying to answer the bonus questions and it's kinda hard to concentrate with Shaq in a genie costume staring at me.



Then of course there is the jerk in head to toe Victoria's Secret PINK sweat suits. I am mad that this girl thinks it's acceptable to leave her haus in this shit. I am also tired of the Urban Outfitters losers, like who buy that raggedy ass clothes? It's garbage. Look, I'm not a style icon in the making, but I wouldn't wear a backpack... period. I wouldn't have let those sweats leave the mall. I wouldn't wear shoes that look like they were salvaged from the Titanic wreckage. If I were the Fashion Police, I'd sentence them to DEATH ROW.



It's just a mess. I'm not a hater, I can give credit where it is due... even if it's "not my thing" and it's something I "wouldn't be caught dead in". The bottom line is if you're gonna dress ugly, at least know what you're talking about and stop wasting everyone's time. I wanna be surrounded with people who "get it" and aren't glued to American Vogue, people who don't consider Katy Perry a fashion luminary, and people who don't think Schiaparelli is a type of fucking pasta. Is that too much to ask?