the vice is right.

Some people have an addictive personality, and by "some people" I mean me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna be on Intervention any time soon. I have a lot of junk but I won't be on Hoarders just yet. I have a different type of addiction: game shows! Specifically, The Price is Right.



What's not to love, honestly? I forgot this show existed up until the other day when I couldn't find my remote control. I was instantly taken back to those days when I would pretend to be sick so I could stay home from school. Summer vacations? Bob Barker was always there to have breakfast with me.

Now, I know there is nothing cool about game shows. At all. Really. But if loving TPIR is wrong, I don't wanna be right. Sometimes, I imagine turning into the mom in Requiem For a Dream. Visions of being cracked out wearing a red dress and shouting "ONE DOLLAR!" dance through my head. But then, like clockwork, it's 10 o'clock and the theme comes on. Now, the host is Drew Carey who everyone thinks is a bad replacement but I love him. He doesn't hide his emotions when people bid stupid amounts. If I were hosting, they'd be in big trouble.

Still, I can't help but get excited when people in their novelty t-shirts flip their shit when they get called down to Contestant's Row. It's like looking into the face of AMERICA. and god, America is just divine. Yeah sometimes the prize is something dumb like a living room furniture set. I mean, who even needs furniture, am I right? Whatevz. But sometimes, SOMETIMES, they pull back the curtain to reveal "A NEW CAAAR" and everyone goes wild. It's so awesome! Personally, I have a Fear of Drivers so a car is useless to me. I really get excited when they win trips. Domestic traveling is lame, so I never get excited about trips to like, Florida. I mean, what's there to do in Florida, anyway? Snooooze. I go crazy when they win a trip to Morocco! Ireland! EGYPT! It's like they just spun a globe and picked any place. I would start to do the Worm if I won, srsly.

Anyway, for those of you not familiar with the show, the contestants go on to guess the prices on things like TVs and lawn furniture. Easy enough, right? They then go on to play a mini game for a bigger prize like A NEW CAAAR or a Jetski or something crazy. They make you guess the price of shit like Kleenex, cat food, and mustard. I don't know where they get these crazy prices or these random ass items but it's still fun to guess along. I love when they win, but I love when they lose even more. I know, I know. But I always either hate a contestant or love them. Nothing is more satisfying than seeing the douche who overbid the previous person's amount by $1 lose. BITCH MOVE! and instant justice. Every time they play those "losing" horns a little piece of my soul breaks off and flutters to Heaven's Gate.

The Price is Right Losing Horns sound clip  The Price is Right - Losing Horn - sound clips

After this they spin the wheel and go to the Showcase Showdown which is the best part of it all. Some people are so clueless it almost hurts. Nothing cheers me up more than seeing someone who is truly excited to be there win it all. It's such a great way to start the morning! They also have themed episodes which is right up my alley. They aired a Halloween themed episode the other day and they were all dressed up as characters from the Wizard of Oz! So great.




My boyfriend got us tickets to the show the other day, so prepare to see me on TPIR in the not too distant future. I will be the one in a corny ass shirt, raven mane, and red lips doing the worm as I make my way to the front. Yes, I will freak the fuck out when the prize is a trip to Switzerland. And yes, I will lose it all because I don't know how much hair gel costs (what is this, Jersey Shore?)

Come on down!