lundi 16 janvier 2012

return of the mack.

Hi y'all, I know that I've neglected this blog for a long time. I wish I had a good excuse, but you have to understand that being fabulous is a full time job! Paris needed me. I was stunned to see that tons of people were contacting their local authorities to see if they knew my whereabouts. Je suis désolée. My bad! Anyway, you guys know I have your best interests at heart. Lately, I've witnessed a plague make its way all over the web & airwaves by a terrorist named Aubrey Graham- better known as Drake. He loves to spread lies, and I am sad to see that so many young ladies are being brainwashed. He is a threat to glamour around the globe and must be stopped immediately! Listen to this propaganda:

Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no make-up on
That's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong

EXCUSE ME? As if it wasn't bad enough that women of the new millennium leave their homes in sweatpants... sweatpants with shitty adjectives across their flabby asses, no less! Now you're telling them to ditch the hot rollers and makeup, too? Man, listen. I am a global ambassador for glamour. I take my job seriously. Don't believe the hype! To quote Dita Von Teese- "I advocate glamour. Every day. Every minute." Even when working out there is no excuse to be sloppy.

take notes! this is how it's done.

While I will always hand out citations to people wearing hideous clothing, I will always at least give you an A for effort when it comes to your tragic make up choices. I am here to help, you guys. I understand that nobody can wear a better red lip than I, but that doesn't mean you should give up! We can at least be allies. There are those that love to proclaim LOUDLY how they "don't need" makeup-- usually the ones who need it the most. Bless their precious hearts. There is NOTHING cute about not wearing makeup, not combing your hair, and wearing pajamas when the sun is still out. That is the ugliest trifecta imaginable, what a nightmare.

What is your agenda, Aubrey? Are you advocating depression? I mean, what's it gonna be next? This is what Drake wants y'all to look like:

Don't let the terrorists win.

4 commentaires:

  1. LOL! No one is allowed to see me in my sweatpants/no makeup on besides the mirror, my dog and my pillow.

    1. You should blog more. Your style is amazing.

      I own, you should own it.

      if you want it its yours, stupid cheap.

      hit me up